From the Rising

Breaking the Streak

It’s late tonight, so this will be short.

I have broken my Apple Watch streak. It was over a year long, maybe even longer than a year and a half. Approaching two? I don’t even know. Very long and ongoing. The streak was not without actual interruption — there were days I had to pause my rings for Reasons: sickness, etc. And I could have paused them last night. Or just like, gone on a quick walk or something. But I found myself ready for bed, taking off my watch, and not really caring.

For me, this is liberating.

I’m one who tries to maintain streaks, inevitably fails, and then beats up on herself because of said failure. Diet streaks, exercise streaks, writing streaks, whatever. But as I approach my 40’s (this must be it, where else would the inner IDGAF come from?) I’m finding that I really don’t have the energy to care about maintaining a streak. It’s easier for me to not be neurotic and just…let some of the plastic balls in the air drop to the ground. And that Apple Watch streak was so plastic. I’ve been wanting to give it up anyway, and go back to my Casio. This is a step in the right direction.

Watch aside, this newfound lack of concern is also the reason that I haven’t written the past two Fridays in a row and am, again, not super concerned about it. In fact, maybe Fridays will just be my day off. I like that. Easy to remember, easy to implement.

Now it’s time for bed. We’ve had a pretty full day here: visited West Point and then spent the rest of the day packing. Everyone has been grumpy, including myself, though it’s easier for me to recognize the grumpiness in others and just think, “Wow, I’m in a perfectly fine mood and everyone else is so touchy today!” But I haven’t exactly been a peach, either. In any case, tomorrow is another day. I ran out of packing paper and toilet paper today, and I need to clear out the fridge so I can stock it only with easy-to-eat things for the rest of the days here. They are fast dwindling. I’m also hoping to finish packing up the kitchen. That would be the last of the packing, aside from any last-minute things. So, tomorrow has the potential to be a pretty big push of a day. But if I can get it all done, I’ll feel like we’re in a pretty darn good spot for the last few days.

Listened To: Emma M. Lion, Vol. 2. I’m already halfway through. These book are just so delightful. Have I mentioned that before?
Read: More of Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family — it’s getting into intuitive eating, which both scares me and is, I know, something I need to implement in my life. (See above re: IDGAF come 40. If I could let go of my weight and eating neuroses that would be…fantastic.)  I will also read a bit more of The Eyes of the Dragon before I go to be here.
Ate: TJ’s Dill Pickle Falafel. Kinda boring but I just needed something to eat for dinner.
Drank: Ommegang Manhattan Shine: Amber ale with black cherry and orange flavors & caramel color. Heavy and sweet, very tasty. I’m realizing that I pretty much exclusively drink heavy and sweet beers anymore. I should branch out again.

Brainstorming Summer

Summer is fast approaching! Being that it’s a strange year/we are moving, our summer is a bit more open than in past years, which also means I get a bit more control over my kids’ days (wa-ha-ha). I mean, I also have to work throughout, so the summer could turn out to be complete chaos, but ideally I would like to create a nice, planned rhythm to our days and integrate some gentle learning and chore habits.

I’ll throw the completed version of this into the 2026 area of the site, but here are my initial thoughts:

Daily Rhythm

What Matters:

  • Intentional screen time (vs out-of-control)
  • Scheduled meals and snacks so the kids know what to expect/it’s not just a food free-for-all all day long
  • Time outdoors
  • Quick learning sessions each day
  • Loads of open play

Proposed Schedule:

Wake up: Whenever/whatever. Do what you will.
8:00: Breakfast
8:30: Morning chores together
9:00: Mom starts work, kids do whatever
10:00: Kids’ screen time hour, Mom does meetings
11:00: Daily project time
12:00: Picnic lunch at the park/outdoor time
1:00: Quiet time in rooms
2:00: Kids’ work hour: 20 min. reading, handwriting pages, math
3:00: Snack time, afternoon free play
5:00: Mom done with work, eat dinner, quick evening clean-up
5:30: More outdoor play
Late/Bedtime: Final evening snack, read to kids before bed
This is a ton of free-play time for the kids, so I don’t know how it will actually work out.

Aspirational Chore Flow

What Matters:

  • Kids are learning to keep their spaces tidy
  • We are all learning to work as a team
  • No one is being shamed or guilted for not doing their part
  • We start small and then work up to being more and more helpful

Morning Chores:

  • Make beds
  • Breakfast dishes in the sink/dishwasher
  • Dishwasher emptied
  • Laundry dealt with

Evening Cleanup:

  • Dinner dishes in sink/dishwasher
  • Tidy spaces
  • Garbage out, if needed
  • Compost out

I’d also like to come up with small daily projects for them to do (fun experiments, etc.) but need to figure out where to get ideas for that. And I also need to come up with a list for when the kids tell me “I’m boredddddd!”

As for the rest of today, here’s the breakdown:

Listened To: Today was pretty busy, so I only had the chance to listen to the newest Bad Therapist episode about Dr. Phil. 
Read: Again, busy day meant I didn’t get a chance to read Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family, but I am looking forward to at least reading more of The Eyes of the Dragon before bed tonight. (I started it last night.)
Wrote: Next scene to revise is the morning after the bonfire. I’m feeling crappy, so we’ll see how much I can get through. Honestly, it’s 7:30 now and I just want to go to bed.
Ate: I got some fresh “garbonz” beans at H-Mart last week and have been snacking on those. They’re a nice healthy way to keep my hands and mouth occupied when I am otherwise feeling snacky.

Five Random Things for Wednesday June 10

  1. I bought a pink pineapple on a whim at H-Mart last week and finally cut into it today. It’s…interesting. Flavor is fine, but somehow having less acid than usual makes it not quite as pineapple-y as a true pineapple. Also I saw someone say it looks like ham, so I can’t unsee that now.
  2. Jarrod managed to pick up the Man Flu and is now resting on his fainting couch and not getting any packing done. I have no words. Loading happens in a week. Pray for us, y’all.
  3. I made an old fast-friendly classic meal tonight, Cajun Shrimp (sans the Lemon Linguini pairing because I didn’t have the energy), and Ambrose *actually ate it*. And loved it. And decided he wanted to get to like salmon. What!! This kid! Perfect timing for me starting to read Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family.
  4. Our Friends from Downstairs (I feel like I reference them in many of my posts) got rid of a couple packets of Oats Overnight. I’ve always been skeptical of these things because I don’t like overnight oats in general, but I thought I’d give ’em a try. I was surprised by the amount of protein each one has — had I known sooner! So I made the blueberry oats for this morning and gosh darn it, it was…pretty good? And has inspired me to want to try and make my own flavor variations?? I could do so many cool things! Psyllium husk! All my favorite seeds! Peaches and cardamom, or blueberry-cinnamon, or strawberries and cream, somehow! Coconut chai! Mango-coconut! Omg and now I just went onto Amazon to see what all flavors they have. So. Many. Flavors.
  5. Liesl had her first full day of summer break at home today. It involved sleeping in until 8 am, only one episode of Rainbow Rangers, a trip to CVS and much deliberating over the jewelry stand (in the end she decided to get a nail polish as her Accompanying Mom treat), and a lot of color-by-number sheets. Now she’s snoozing in bed here next to me, has been since before 7 pm. Something went awry during her playing with the bigger kids, she got hurt, and she fell asleep. All while I was out on my short run.

Listened To: Maintenance Phase podcast episode on salt (screw Big Salt!!!), and most of the rest of The Unselected Journals of Emma M Lion, Vol. 1. I only have about a half hour left of this book. It’s so great. We hate Cousin Archibald.
Watched: Honest Trailers about Project Hail Mary
Wrote: Haven’t done my editing yet today, but I do intend to finish up that bonfire scene once I put the kids to bed in 5 minutes.
Ate: As mentioned, Oats Overnight (yum!) and cajun shrimp.

Evolving Parenthood

Today Liesl graduated from PreK, which is a very silly thing to celebrate — I’m pretty sure we didn’t have so many graduations when I was a kid — but also a very big milestone. Liesl leaving behind her PreK days means Jarrod and I have entered into a new era of parenthood: that of being parents to elementary-aged kids.

I mean, we’ve technically been here for the past four years, since Ambrose entered kindergarten, but having all three in elementary school now (or, come August) just feels different. This is a marker. We don’t have little kids anymore. Gone are the long, sleepless nights of babyhood. Gone is the chaos of toddlerhood. The diapers, the bibs, cutting food into tiny pieces, nightly baths, messy faces. (I mean, there’s still mess. But it’s a different and more manageable kind of mess.) Now we have trifold projects, times tables, homework sheets, biking with friends, practicing musical instruments. We’ve got big kids. Or…maybe not big kids. But definitely not little kids.

Anyway, it’s late, and I need to go to bed. But I did want to make a special note of it. Because it is special! The real era of childhood magic that all the kids will remember has arrived. Nine years until Ambrose leaves the house. Nine years to make all the memories. Doesn’t feel like a lot when I word it like that, but in nine years, Liesl will only be in 8th grade, so. Thirteen years until we’re empty-nesters. (Good Lord, we could be grandparents a few years after that. STOP IT.) Time to kick this parenting game up a notch. Evolve and change. Take ’em all to Disney again. Right? Sure.

I’d like to mark my days by ending each post with a sort of what-I-did-today list. Like so:

Listened To: The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion, Vol 1., by Beth Brower.
Wrote: Revised the rest of the bonfire scene from A Marriage of Convenience. It still needs a little more work tomorrow, but should be good to move on soon. Favorite line today: “My tum-tum needs a specialist-specialist.”
Ate: A really tasty random cucumber mixture I saw on Facebook, semi-adapted: finely-diced tofu, half a cucumber, sliced thinly; diced jalapeño; a generous squeeze of mayonnaise; some soy sauce; sriracha; garlic-chili oil; garlic powder; pepper; and MSG (lol). Shake it up and eat it. It really tastes almost sushi-like. Like, add some warm sushi rice and raw fish and you’d have a poke bowl. Might need to try that this weekend when it’s a fish day.

I didn’t do any real book-reading, album-listening, or video-watching. But in the future, this is where I’ll keep track of it.

 

Monday Musings: My Pocket To-Do List

Mondays are always my most productive day, so it makes sense that my random musings on to-do lists would fall on a Monday.

Jarrod and I both kind of happened upon this perfect solution for just…capturing everything, at basically the exact same time. Like, independently of each other. I had a random little back pocket-sized notebook, not even sure where it came from, that I would sometimes write rewards in. But that never took. Somehow I started writing to-do lists in it. And random thoughts I wanted to capture. That stuck.

I’ve really gone hard on bullet journals in the past. I love ’em, but the way my goldfish brain works, I need something to be available to me to scribble in or reference all the time. And it needs to be my Primary Thing, not just a little storage unit until I can transfer it over to the other Primary Thing. That transfer never happens.

This is where the perfection of the pocket-sized to-do list lies: it fits in my pocket, or in my fanny pack, depending on my configuration from day to day. I can jot down my entire to-do list the night before, or even the morning of. If I need to remember a thought or an observation, I can pull it out and record it. I can transfer any unfinished tasks from day to day. I can cross of as I go. It’s amazing! So simple. And. And! I have a little record of days past! In the past I’ve enjoyed writing lists on notecards, but they end up everywhere, and there’s only so much writing space on a single notecard.

And that’s it. A pocket-sized post on my pocket-sized to-do list.

In other news, the kids’ BFF drove away today. Very sad. Then the girls had their interviews for the Laurel school in Cleveland, which went surprisingly well. I think I underestimate Theda because Ambrose and Liesl, even, are so advanced. Liesl’s kindergarten assessment took all of five minutes and she aced it. Theda’s assessment took a bit longer — they quizzed her on reading, math, reading nonsense words, and spelling, starting easy and only ending each section when she couldn’t answer anymore. But she knew 2 x 3, and could do a non-regrouping double-digit addition in her head! And she really surprised me with her reading. I’m looking forward to receiving their results, whenever they hit my inbox.

Speaking of the girls, they’re being very cute tonight. They took a bath together, decided to wear matching undies, and have now moved onto matching pajamas. “Pretend we are princesses, but the queen gave us in a contest, and she put us in a salon…” “Art princesses!” So funny.

Literally Screaming

In the process of packing up our house this past week, I discovered that we had in fact brought our ice cream freezer with us to seminary. It was buried deep in the corner between two wire racks. Very, very hidden. So I decided that it would be a great idea to have a little ice cream social on the Lakeside patio to celebrate + kick off the Apostles’ Fast.

The freezer is a White Mountain 4-quart electric machine. I made my dad’s recipe, which is very fussy, involves separating eggs and lots and lots of beating. It was enough for two batches. The two batches disappeared incredibly quickly. The people wanted more. Jarrod found a recipe online that was literally just a slightly more precise variation on “throw together milk, cream, sugar, vanilla, and salt, and freeze it”. Three batches of that later, and things are finally slowing down out here on the patio.

Tomorrow the girls’ BFF (our BFF family from downstairs) leaves in the morning. It’s going to be a very sad day in the Huffman household. They also have interviews with the way-too-fancy private school in Cleveland we’re trying to get them into for some reason. So hopefully they aren’t so sad that they can’t answer the questions. After that, Liesl will have her PreK field day, and on Tuesday is her graduation from PreK4.

Nothing super exciting to report today. But this drawn-out goodbye is excruciating. Thank God we only have a little more than one week left here. I can’t take much more of this sadness!

On Not Giving Up

Well, we’re six days into June and I’m already behind on my carefully-laid-out goalz. (Yes, goalz with a “z”. Don’t ask me why. I’m trying to retain some sense of fun as I enter my most not-fun days. Even though it feels forced and terrible. I WILL NOT BECOME A HUMORLESS FORTY-YEAR-OLD.)

Anyway, back to the main point. Things are starting to cheese-fountain again. My weight is out of control again, I didn’t pack near the amount of boxes this week that I wanted to, I haven’t written or revised as much as I was planning, I’ve only hit 10k steps two or three times this week, and my diet has been anything but bright. I could go on.

But. But! I’m trying to remember to give myself some grace here. We’re in survival mode and the gym randomly closed for the rest of the year. (Insert Stephanie Tanner “How rude!” gif here.) Work this week was a little crazy, and anyway, I made up the packing backlog with some focused time today. As for the writing, I actually did sit down and work on my story every day this week, which is huge progress — I’m back into the story and that feels good. 10k steps is just a goal. It’s not the end of the world if I hit or not. I can always, always resume my diet tomorrow. Or heck, even at the next meal.

And here are some things that went right this week, because it’s always important to remember that, too:

  • We found a school the kids can all go to and put in the applications. It’s a Montessori school, which has always been my dream to send them to anyway.
  • Jarrod found a car in Cleveland and put a hold on it — he’ll finish the purchase once we get into town. It’s going to be incredible to have two cars again.
  • We had multiple porch hangouts this week.
  • We all, every last member of our family, helped our downstairs besties move out of their apartment this morning.
  • Jarrod and I celebrated sixteen years of marriage (wut) and went on a kid-free date to Backrooms.

So like, here’s what I’m trying to get to. I woke up this morning feeling pretty dejected, but I need to remember that it’s only June 6th. Things may not be going completely perfectly, but what sense does it make to throw up my hands in defeat literally less than a week into the month? No friends, no. I’m not doing that this month. This month, I’m doubling down. I’m planning my upcoming week, I’m making a grocery list and getting back to bright and veggie-forward. (A good time for it, too — the Apostles’ Fast starts Monday and runs a full three weeks!) I’m taking each day as it comes, and remembering that each new day brings the opportunity for another fresh start.

I Am So Sad

How can I explain how I feel?

Yesterday morning after I dropped the kids off at school I came back home and spent the next two hours on the patio, drinking coffee and hanging out with a random group of seminarians and their spouses. Kids were all around, gobbling up the scotcharoos and muffins I’d brought out from our apartment. At 10:30 I went inside for an hour and a half of morning meetings and when I finished up there were still stragglers on the patio, finishing up the last of the coffee.

Yesterday evening I made salmon and rice for dinner and took it outside to the patio to eat while the kids biked around with their friends. The weather was perfect — warm, but not too hot. No bugs. Kids from the buildings were biking, scootering, and running back and forth on the road between the buildings. Their parents were out watching them and chatting. Our best friends here who live below us were also on the patio eating dinner. Their four-year-old son came over and asked if he could eat a strawberry. I wanted to cry.

It makes no sense to be so sad. This is probably one of the happiest, most idyllic periods of my life. The past three years of seminary, yes, but even more specifically, this past three weeks since Jarrod graduated. He has essentially zero obligations and can just be a stay-at-home dad. Right now he’s in the kitchen scrubbing a pan, like a real house-husband. Jarrod aside, the weather has been gorgeous. The kids spend every minute of their day when they get home from school playing with their friends. There have been so many random spur-of-the-moment social events like yesterday morning’s coffee gathering. Tomorrow looks to be turning into a grill-out evening. I’ll bring ice cream, because I finally uncovered our ice cream machine (buried in the storage closet) in the process of packing.

In two weeks, this will all be over. We’ll be on the road, house distributed between two U-Hauls, driving toward our new life in Cleveland.

And that’s why I’m so sad.

I’ll never have this intense seminary life back again, and I know, I know I’m going to miss it so badly once the boxes have been unpacked and we’ve begun to settle into our new rhythm. I am about to be so lonely. I’ve never not had some sort of natural community: first the expat community when we lived in Kolkata, followed by the military spouse/pilot wife community, and now the seminary community. Yes, there will be our church community, and I am not going to take that for granted, but at the same time, I’m the matushka, for better or for worse. My role as the priest’s wife is a bit different. In a way, I’m set apart. I’ve been told I need to be careful about who I get close to.

I’m also sad, because in some ways it feels like I’ve squandered my time here — such a rich opportunity to make friends for a lifetime, and after three years, what do I have? Not that. I’m not the most social person in the world. I want to be, but I have trouble…I don’t know, exactly. I’m worried that Cleveland will be the same way. I won’t make meaningful friends; I’ll just be alone in the rectory, day in and day out.

These are my fears. At least knowing them means I can actively combat them, right? Right. I’ll go to trivia. I’ll sign up for those adult ballet classes. I’ll put myself out there, be bold, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll form my own little community in Ohio to carry me through the next stage of my life.

Bad Mornings, Good Mornings

So, yes. I got to bed very late last night. By the time I finally put my phone down (not like I was scrolling a long time, but still — wrist slap for Emily!) my bedside clock said 00:00. Jarrod had a rough night and I was over-anticipating waking up at 6:45 to get the kids ready to go — especially knowing that I was most likely going to have to do the drop-off due to Jarrod’s rough night.

But weirdly, we had an amazing morning. Like, 10/10 smooth like peanut buttah. Why? How? I don’t know. Maybe it’s the definition of grace that I’ve been seeking.

Here’s a bad morning in our house:

The girls refuse to wake up. It’s 7:25 and I’m still in the process of packing lunches and snacks. Jarrod is in his room doing his morning stuff, having also slept in. I attempt to dress the girls. They refuse and kick their legs/pretend to still be asleep. I’m scrambling to brush hair, put shoes on, there goes the timer and we rush out the door. Allergy meds are forgotten. Hair is probably still not brushed. No one has eaten breakfast, and probably at least two out of three kids haven’t peed yet. (You’ll notice zero mention of Ambrose. Generally, he’s a gem in the morning. Always wakes up early, gets himself dressed, and reads in the rocking chair until it’s time to go. Sometimes it’s difficult to get him out the door, but we’ve even fixed this issue recently by using a timer as a dead-stop for leaving.)

Here’s how this morning went:

Ambrose crawled into the girls’ bed that I was sleeping in, because Liesl had come into my bed in the middle of the night complaining of congestion. (It’s always musical beds in our house, I tell you what.) So I went to Ambrose’s bed to finish out the last couple hours of the morning. This was good: it was very bright. Liesl came in at around 5:30, still complaining of congestion, and slept with me a bit, but by 6:00 was ready to wake up. She fell asleep quite early last night after kicking and hitting me a bunch because I wouldn’t walk her down to her friend’s house for dinner. It was a whole thing, but the takeaway here is that she got enough sleep and woke up feeling pretty good.

She read some books while I continued to doze. A bit later, Ambrose came in and got himself dressed. He tried asking me a bunch of questions but I told him I needed to sleep. Still, I was up by 6:30 or so. Knowing Theda had wanted me to wake her up early to take a shower, I opened her curtains. She pulled the blankets over her head. No worries.

I cleaned up our trashed kitchen and made coffee. Liesl read. Ambrose rocked and read. at 6:55 or so, Theda came out and asked me to get the shower ready for her. I got her situated, then grabbed clothes for Liesl and helped her get dressed. Then, I asked Ambrose what he wanted for snack and packed that. Past Me had made the other two snacks and Liesl’s lunch at around 11pm last night. Past Me is sometimes the best. I made Liesl a bagel that she didn’t even end up eating. Ambrose snacked on the graham crackers I’d left out.

Theda’s shower went long, but she was out by 7:20. I helped get her dressed, and gave Ambrose his allergy medicine. I got myself dressed then went outside to deliver some muffins and the rest of the Scotcharoos to the patio coffee social that was gearing up to happen. I noticed the girls’ friend was already outside playing, so I told them she was out there and that they had about 10 minutes to play with her. Everyone went outside. I grabbed Liesl’s allergy medicine and brought it out to her. Then I went back in and grabbed the backpacks.

We all went to the van. The drive to school was uneventful. Liesl wanted to go to Morning Care. We were so early that they hadn’t even started letting kids into the building. When they did, I walked Liesl inside. Then, I drove to Trader Joe’s, almost got charged for buying 40 granny smith apples (that’s a whole different story), came home, and spent the next 2 1/2 hours on the patio drinking coffee and socializing.

Like I said, the morning was amazing. In spite of a truly terrible night of sleep that is now just catching up with me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go lay down for a bit.

Spinning-Wheel Brain

I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. Maybe because it’s a Tuesday — I always feel like Tuesdays are far less productive than Mondays, especially Tuesdays after Mondays when I’ve busted my butt to get everything done.

So, I’m having another brain-stuck-in-spinning-wheel day where I don’t do much of anything. I slept in, which was actually needed (go me, listening to my body!), ate way too much Trader Joe’s Bool Kogi for pre-breakfast, made Scotcharoos because it came up in my revisions, went on a walk instead of a run, didn’t lift, haven’t packed an area yet, and feel generally blah.

I took this photo of my desk a minute ago. It’s a pretty good illustration of how life feels right now, honestly. Scattered, random, way too much of everything. I’m hot, my pants are too tight, and Jarrod’s watch alarm is going off yet again. I want to burst out of my skin and just let my soul fly up towards the sky. Now Jarrod’s phone is ringing. I’m sitting here eating green beans, trying to get my 1 pound of vegetables in for the day.

I have no pithy way of ending this today. We’re having friends over tonight to play Democracy, our own experimental version of Monopoly where everyone votes on the rules. This has only ever been a thought experiment in Jarrod’s head, so it will be interesting to see how it actually…plays out. Heh. Whatever the case, it will probably be a fairly late night. So I shouldn’t expect tomorrow to be much of a banger either.