From the Rising

Spinning-Wheel Brain

I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. Maybe because it’s a Tuesday — I always feel like Tuesdays are far less productive than Mondays, especially Tuesdays after Mondays when I’ve busted my butt to get everything done.

So, I’m having another brain-stuck-in-spinning-wheel day where I don’t do much of anything. I slept in, which was actually needed (go me, listening to my body!), ate way too much Trader Joe’s Bool Kogi for pre-breakfast, made Scotcharoos because it came up in my revisions, went on a walk instead of a run, didn’t lift, haven’t packed an area yet, and feel generally blah.

I took this photo of my desk a minute ago. It’s a pretty good illustration of how life feels right now, honestly. Scattered, random, way too much of everything. I’m hot, my pants are too tight, and Jarrod’s watch alarm is going off yet again. I want to burst out of my skin and just let my soul fly up towards the sky. Now Jarrod’s phone is ringing. I’m sitting here eating green beans, trying to get my 1 pound of vegetables in for the day.

I have no pithy way of ending this today. We’re having friends over tonight to play Democracy, our own experimental version of Monopoly where everyone votes on the rules. This has only ever been a thought experiment in Jarrod’s head, so it will be interesting to see how it actually…plays out. Heh. Whatever the case, it will probably be a fairly late night. So I shouldn’t expect tomorrow to be much of a banger either.

Five Random Things for Monday, June 1

I don’t have any kind of over-arching theme or thought for today. So I’ll just pop in five random things that are on my mind this afternoon.

  1. I went for a run this morning, for the first time in ages. Running tends to get my heart rate way up, but for some reason today…it didn’t? I ran 2 miles without stopping (well, except ONCE to tie my darn shoelace) and it mostly stayed in the higher end of the 150’s. Whaaat! Running is usually pretty difficult for me just because of the HR issue. Guess I’ll have to go again and see if it was just a fluke!
  2. I got a call from the school nurse at the end of Standup today. Never a good thing. Could hear Liesl crying hysterically in the background — her tummy hurt and she was basically just inconsolable. So Jarrod went to the school to try and calm her down/troubleshoot, and ended up putting her down for a nap in the nurse’s office. We haven’t heard from her since, so. I guess she was just way over-tired. (Too much fun at kneeling vespers!)
  3. I saw Donna’s Pickle Beer at Trader Joe’s last week and was so tempted to get it. But decided against it — I just couldn’t justify buying four of something that I only just wanted a taste of. Well! Yesterday was a patio chicken street taco grill-out thing, and someone brought the beer! 10/10, maybe would not recommend, but definitely fun to try once.
  4. Speaking of Trader Joe’s, I’ve got Bool Kogi in the menu tonight. Just gotta figure out how to get the charcoal grill lit.
  5. The packing continues. Today I am on for “Garage Storage” which might not end up being much — Jarrod’s mostly responsible for what’s in there — so if I have the time and gumption, I might move onto tomorrow’s designated packing, which is (*shudder*) “Outside”

Next Three Things: A Helpful Tool

Sometimes I look at my to-do list for the day and just get…overwhelmed by it all. I like to write down every little task I have to do, because my brain doesn’t like to hold onto things. So that every-little-thing list can end up getting pretty long. Here, for example, is everything on my list for today:

  • Call Vanguard
  • CGX workout
  • 1 hr audiobook
  • 20 minutes reading
  • Commonplace book
  • Right-handed writing practice
  • Daily post (hey-o!)
  • Marriage of Convenince scene work
  • XBX with the kids
  • Pack Garage office area
  • Arrange Disclosure Day date (buy tickets, get sitter)
  • 10k steps
  • Weekly Same-Page meeting
  • Video of kids singing the Bluey song together
  • Video of the girls saying “makin”/”nakin” (napkin)
  • 5 minutes photo clear
  • Pentecost 2027 reminder on calendar (wear green, bring greens)
  • Bathe kids
  • Homework with kids
  • 5pm tacos & margs on the patio

How many things is that? I don’t know, a lot. 15? My brain is forcing me to count. 20. Many of those 20 items — 9, to be exact — are very short tasks that take 5 minutes or less to do.

So, one strategy I have when dealing with overwhelming lists like these is to just choose the “next three things” to do (hence the name, get it?), adding another thing to the bottom of the NTT list when the top one is crossed out.

Right now, my NTT list is as follows:

  1. Write daily blog post
  2. Pack the Garage office area
  3. Do CGX workout

Those are actually three pretty chonky tasks, but I know that the things I choose after I cross those out will be more administrative/computer tasks: write the Pentecost reminder to myself, buy the Disclosure Day tickets, call Vanguard. So, the list will get whittled down pretty quickly.

Anyway, over here it’s Pentecost. Which really snuck up on me this year — the reason the Pentecost 2027 reminder is on my list, actually, is because apparently everyone but me got the memo to wear green to church today. I like matching vestment colors on feast days, but I often (often) forget to. It being Pentecost also means that today was Kneeling Vespers at church. I always dread Kneeling Vespers, which is maybe bad of me, but there we go. It’s long, involves a ton of kneeling, the kids are squirrely, and I just want my coffee. I suppose it’s a fitting way to close out the Paschal season then.

We were late to church this morning because I also missed the memo that it was starting a half hour early due to the aforementioned Kneeling Vespers, and also because Theda threw a huge, screamy tantrum about not wanting to match her sister today. Well, it’s the rhythm of life, I suppose.

Now. Time to cross off item #1 on my Next Three Things list, add another, and go get started on the Garage packing for the day.

Summer ’26: Quarter Planning Mish-Mash

I mentioned a few days back that I got the book Best Laid Plans and was looking forward to planning out My Entire Life. So now it’s the second-to-last day in May and here I am, sitting down to do my quarterly planning…boy am I overwhelmed.

I think I just need to go along with the book and make notes in a concrete place. Like…right here! Then from there I can schedule out tasks and make my goals for the quarter.

Step 1: Reflection

So. How did Spring ’26 go? Well, we got through it. We just closed out a major season of life, which is: seminary. We slogged our way through Great Lent and reached the always-joyous Pascha & Paschal season. And, of course, we found out where we would be moving.

I’m not sure there are any major successes to speak of. Just finishing another school year and seminary would be considered a success, right? But like, what did I even put down for my year goals? Nothing that can really be accomplished here in New York, except maybe Korean karaoke. But I don’t think that’s going to get done before we leave.

Step 2: Annual Goals Review

I was getting ahead of myself, I suppose. Scanning my list (and I’ll come up with a better list at the end of this season, when my next “year cycle” begins, and actually post it on here), the things that stick out as do-able in the next 3 months are the following:

  • Buy a car
  • Buy an indoor citrus tree
  • Make macarons
  • Start a garden
  • Join “a group” — I have down mahjong, trivia, writing, and also an adult ballet or ice skating class. I’d say if I find one group to join, this goal can be considered checked off.

Not a huge list, but considering the amount of life change our family will be going through the next three months, it should be enough.

Step 3: Look Ahead, Around, and Within

June:

  • 18th: THE BIG MOVE (really the week of the 14th-20th, anything other than the move will be off the table)
  • Unpacking unpacking unpacking

July:

  • Kids & Jarrod will be going to KS to drive stuff back, bring UHaul (1st week?)
  • Kelly & Randy will be around to help us with schtuff (2nd week??)
  • Indiana visit: July 24 – August 1 (roughly)
  • Settling in settling in settling in

August:

  • Our Explore Cleveland month?
  • Kids will start school at some point

Feelings/Focus for the Season:

  • It’s going to be a busy, disorganized, non-repeatable season
  • Biggest personal focus: branching out, getting settled in
  • Biggest family focus: establishing doable routines for the long summer days (daily reading, exercise, handwriting practice) while still having fun and exploring our surroundings

Step 4: Choosing my Domains and Generating my List

House & Home

  • Move out (duh)
  • Move in (double duh)
  • Create garden plan with Jarrod for rest-of-summer/fall
  • Set up composting

Relationships

  • Find a group to join (mahjong, writer’s group, trivia, ballet, whatever)
  • Schedule actual regular dates with Jarrod & the kids (weekly, which would work out to 1x/month per person?)

Writing

  • Write 1 blog post/day! Hey!
  • Finish the first rough draft of Marriage of Convenience

Health & Exercise

  • Finish CGX Beastmode
  • Do XBX circuit every day of the season
  • Walk 10,000 steps every day of the season
  • Eat 1 lb veggies every day of the season
  • Get down to 145 lbs (trying to choose a slow, realistic goal…)
  • Go to a Slow Roll event

Kids

  • 20 minutes daily reading (Book-It!)
  • 10 minutes daily handwriting/cursive practice
  • Get Ambrose signed up with OT lady
  • 1 mile daily walk
  • XBX daily
  • Pool 2-3x/week? (Figure out a good pool to go to)
  • Finish enrolling kids in US/Laurel/figure out what the heck we’re going to do here

Adventures

  • Swim in the creek/waterfall area at Tinker Creek
  • Go to a farmer’s market
  • Go to the Holden Arboretum
  • Take the kids to Lake Michigan
  • Go blueberry picking with the kids in Indiana (or Ohio!)

Step 5: Save the List and Start to Act

Well, okay! This seems like a good start on the next three months. Time (and this blog) will tell if I can execute…

When Life Feels Like Cheese in a Chocolate Fountain

Did you ever see that video of the guy who decided it would be a great idea to make a cheese fountain using a chocolate fountain setup? I mean, in theory, what innovation! I’d love a drippy, melty cheese fountain to dip cubes of bread or tart green apples in.

Of course, the execution of the idea quickly goes south.

His face. It’s priceless. And it’s a pretty good illustration of how I’ve felt all day long.

It all started with these stupid deployments I signed up to do last night. They were supposed to be “easy” and “quick” and “fun”. (Okay, okay, no one promised fun.) But then, about as long as it took for that chocolate fountain to come undone, things spiraled out of control.

I’ll spare you the technical details. I logged on at 7 pm anticipating being done by 7:30 at the latest. At 10:30 (may I remind you that my bedtime has been 8:30 these past few days to facilitate my early rising?) I decided I’d had enough and went to bed.

So of course, today I’m reeling from that sleep deprivation. Turns out, when you front-load your day with The Good Stuff, it really throws everything out of alignment when you (try your hardest to) sleep late and miss out on doing said Good Stuff. I mean, I’m supposed to be planning the next 3 months of my life today! Not to mention buying more boxes and packing up the bookshelf. Meanwhile, it’s already 4 pm and the kids are being chauffeured home as I type. (Oh shoot, I heard the hallway door open. Is that them?) Tonight is movie night, so once they get here there’s not a lot of flex room for, I don’t know. Going to the gym like I wanted to.

And on top of that, I got some pretty disappointing news that a school we really wanted to put the kids in has a completely full 4th grade, so it’s not going to work out to send them there. I’m trying not to spiral, but sometimes, it’s difficult.

All this is to say, though, that I’m not spiraling. I’M NOT SPIRALING!!! Truly. I’m not giving up, either. I’ll do the best I can to finish out this day strong, and try and remember that life is about pivoting during difficult days, and not about crossing off a bunch of arbitrary to-do’s in my lil pocket notebook.

And hey, if I want to celebrate what I have done today:

  • I started and finished a two-point work task, leaving just one more task left to complete by next Friday
  • I went to Benjamin Moore and grabbed a paint swatch of a color that a family friend had recommended we paint our house in Ohio
  • I went on a walk to the library and picked up two books Ambrose had requested
  • I got a bunch of groceries. Veggies in the house again!
  • I started to plan meals for June…at least got through this coming week (fast-free!)

It’s only a little list, but it’s something. And like I said, I’m not giving up. Tomorrow, I can already sense (as I wrap this up at 9:15 pm) will be a caffeine-fueled day of productivity. Time to sign off now to sit down and write out my list.

Brain’s Not Braining

Do you ever have days where your brain just doesn’t wanna? I do. Today is one of those days. It’s just like…thirsting for dopamine. I hate it so much. I made the mistake of checking my phone in the morning, and it’s been all downhill from there. Continual checking and refreshing of All of the Apps. Man, take me back to 1999. Probably the real deal is that I need more sleep.

I’m still committed to banging out a short little update each day (and hey, I’m working on my Goals content too, quietly in the background but it’ll be ready eventually!) so here I am. Banging out said short little update. Hey, did I get any emails in the last 5 minutes? Nope. Okay, good.

The packing continues. I got the quilts and things behind the couch packed up, along with the living room “extras”. Tomorrow I’ll work on our Billy bookshelves, though Jarrod may want to take charge of those. If that’s the case I’ll move onto the (*gasps with horror while ominous music plays*) garage. Or, 1/3 of it.

The kids are doing well. They spend a lot of their evenings playing with their last remaining friend. Today Jarrod took them to the library after school and they each picked out some books. Jarrod called me — “How many books are they allowed to get?” I said, “Ask the kids if they remember.” And I heard them over the line explain how Liesl gets five, Theda gets seven, and Ambrose gets nine. These kids are great, man. Jarrod didn’t understand the numbers, but since I came up with an easy-to-follow rule (one book per year of age) they were able to explain it to him themselves.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to check Facebook and Messenger just one more time before I get myself ready to do some work deployments this evening.

4:30 am Rocks

I don’t know why I’m doing this to myself, but I’ve been waking up every morning at 4:30.

Okay, two lies in that last sentence. I haven’t been waking up “every morning” at 4:30. I’ve done it three times total — twice last week, and then once again this morning. But I plan to start waking up every morning at 4:30, so there we go.

The second lie is that I don’t know why I’m doing it to myself. I do know why. I’m doing it, because evenings with kids are worthless. By the time I finish work (5ish), get dinner on the table (6ish), deal with the dinner dishes/clean up the kitchen/make sure backpacks are dealt with/tidy up the house to the extent I feel is reasonable for the day/set up my coffee for the next morning/put the kids to bed (8ish, or later if they’re being ridiculous) — by the time all that is finished, all I want to do is scroll my phone and not move. And of course, “just a check” turns into an hour, easily, and before I know it it’s 9:30 and my evening is gone with nothing to show for it.

So why not shift that unoccupied time to the morning? Why not just go to bed at 8:30 with the kids, get in the best possible 8 hours I can, and then wake up ready to actually tackle my to-do list?

Here’s what I did this morning:

  • Made my coffee and said my prayers
  • Wrote in my journal for 20 minutes
  • Read my morning nonfiction/educational book, Mind in the Making, for 10 minutes
  • Took a 2-mile walk
  • Updated the theme on here and created a few pages (which still need actual populating)

I mean, look at all those heavy-hitters there! By the time that was all finished, the kids were up and it was time to get them off to school.

Oura, unfortunately, is very unhappy with me and only gave me a 74 rating on my sleep, but it certainly didn’t help that Theodora woke up screaming about leg pain at midnight. These kids, I tell you what. I’ve promised them ice cream if they go 5 days in a row without bothering me in the middle of the night. Ambrose is on board, but then gets VERY angry when his sisters wake me up. So I’ll have to figure out something special to do with him if he gets 5 in a row, because he actually is usually the one of the problem children, and has really been making an effort.

In other news, I have started listening to Bleak House. The first chapters were kind of boring AF, but now that I’m into the first-person narration (no idea how long it will last) it’s a lot more engaging.

Where to Begin?

Where to begin? This is a question I am asking myself about starting this blog, yes, but it’s also a question I’m asking myself about my life right now. I’m less than a month out from a new move, summer vacation is on the horizon, and I’ve just managed to binge the excellent life-planning book Best Laid Plans. I have SO MUCH I want to get done, and I want it done yesterday. And so the question: where to begin?

With a list, I guess.

It always starts with a list, anyway. Here’s what I want to get done today:

  • Pack up my office bookshelf & unnecessary desk stuff
  • Figure out what I’m gonna do with the kids this summer (NBD)
  • Balance YNAB (we were just out of town the past 4 days, so that’s going to be *a job*)
  • Finish walking 10k steps (6,377 down)
  • Feed my sourdough starter
  • Make a batch of kefir
  • Drink an EAA + creatine shake, since I finished a workout just a bit ago
  • Like, finish setting up this website or something, IDK.
  • Get to the root cause of this silly little bug that I’ve gone and assigned myself at work.
  • Finish going through April and May pics, deleting the unnecessary stuff, and upload April to Dropbox, plus create an April Chatbook.

Okay, so. It’s 2:38 pm, and it’s a lot. One thing at a time, is the best advice I can offer myself. Luckily Jarrod’s parents, who left just this morning after spending 2 weeks living in very close quarters with us here in New York, left behind a meal of Italian sausage with sausage and peppers already cooked and ready for dinner, so that’s one thing that’s off my plate for tonight. (HAH. Get it? Off my plate? Wow I’m clever.)

I’ll outline my goals for this lil personal web hidey-hole of mine tomorrow, but a little preview is: I’d like to write just a little bit on here every day about how life is going. I miss blogging, man, and we’ve got a heck of a life change ahead of us. I want to remember it all.

So here’s a bit more about what’s going on today: Ambrose has cooking club today. I always enjoy seeing (and eating!) whatever he brings back. Theda is at the zoo, and the class parents are sending along a whole bunch of really cute pictures of everyone. They seem to all be having a heck of a time. Liesl…well, we’ll see how she is today. She woke up screaming full-blast twice last night because her legs hurt, but she didn’t want to take medicine because she hates taking medicine. This kid.

Anyway, I’m out for a little walk to chip away at my steps. Then I’m going to work at this bug for another half hour before I get to work with the boxes.